Birthdays are often a time when a little reflection and soul searching are in order and once a year I try to find the time between cake and wine to indulge in such things. This year is particularly pertinent as everything is about to change for me, but most comforting are the things that stay the same. My birthday inevitably involves a pilgrimage back home to visit the family, an event that was especially exciting this time around as next week I will be taking up residence very near the family seat once more.
I feel that the passing of a family pet should be noted, but it’s difficult to know what to say about Daisy. Her entire existence consisted of little more than squeaking, eating continually and doing tiny poos all over the place. The most notable thing she ever did was die on my birthday. She was a nice little thing, very fat with lovely pink feet. She is survived by fellow furry poo-factory Fluffy, who is slightly more notable in that she is prone to weeing on your leg in addition to squeaking and eating.
The arrival of my 38th year sees me still unsuccessful at maintaing coherent personal endeavours, but happily my literary output remains solid, if not a little improved over the last twelve months. The news of my return to my home town has given rise to the surprising speculation that I am planning a return to the police. The amount of people who have contacted me about this is astonishing, so much so that I almost considered it. The enthusiasm for this prospect is most flattering, but all in all I don’t think it would be a very good idea. They don’t even have proper hats any more so I’m afraid the whole thing is out of the question.
This is a proper hat
And so I find myself fairly satisfied with my years on the planet thus far, my hat collection continues to grow, along with my circle of curious and delightful friends and acquaintances. As ever, I shall strive to work harder, do better and be better. But I shall also remember to follow the example of Daisy and make sure I take the time to worry about nothing more than squeaking and eating.
68 thoughts on “Older, Wiser, One Guinea Pig Down”
Happy Belated Birthday, dear! I can see it was a happy one. Your family and mine are much the same. My daughter and son-in-law come over for a birthday dinner and we always say – leave the dishes, we’ll do them later! I WILL NOT ask you which birthday!
I love that! Not only is a birthday dinner with family an essential, the insistence of leaving the dishes is universal. It’s a wonderful thing. I can tell that your family are indeed wonderful, happy people and I send you all my very best!
First of all, before I offer my belated beat birthday wishes, I’d like to comment how surprised I am to learn your age. The years have been kind to you. I love how British a tradition this is. It sounds great. You must have a really tight bond with your family and I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. All the best Miss Brazier 🎂🎁🎉
Very kind of you Paul, thank you. I am most chuffed! My family are fantastic and delightfully bonkers, I’m so lucky to have them. This comment has proper made my day 😁
I hate that I didn’t proof-read my comment before hitting send. ‘beat birthday wishes’? This is why I hate auto-correct! Give me a quill and ink any day! It pleases me to know you have a good bond with your family. Oh, and condolences on the passing of your guinea pig. As a mark of respect, I shall drop some pebble shits later.