I was very honoured to be the first guest on my chum Dan Alatorre‘s new show, Writer Rants, to talk about PorterGirl books First Lady Of The Keys and The Vanishing Lord. Here are some edited highlights; whilst almost two hours of Daniel talking about how great I am might be good for my ego, no one really wants to listen to that. But what you might want to listen to, however, are insights into how I built up the Old College world and developed the characters, the truth about what really happened at Cambridge University and how I fell in love at first sight at the Royal Opera House…

I’m not as sure as you are that people don’t want to listen to how great you are. I think I could listen to it for hours. But, given your revelations about how you built your characters , the truth of what happened at Cambridge and how you (broke my heart) fell in love at the Royal Opera House, I might just swap my listening for a while.
xxx Humongous Hugs xxx
Well, you and my mum would probably be happy enough but other than that, I’m not so sure. And fear not, my affections are not returned… my love remains unrequited…
xxx Giant Hugs xxx
Well, David – you know our Lucy…
Forearms and thighs; the true measure of a man; mine are veritably sculptured, though my thighs look like forearms and my forearms look like thighs…is that still sexy? I have a friend who likes forearms too; she specifically wants to lick Rafael Nadal’s…I’m working in it. Exciting about the small screen stuff though; I think Dan would make a great Hugh if he can pull off the accent!?
I can assure you that your thighs more than pass muster, dear Babbage. Forearms are equally acceptable, in my humble opinion.
There are quite a few people I know who are keen to lick various parts of Nadal and I can’t say I blame them. But now, my heart belongs to one man only… 😉
Can’t picture Daniel mastering the British accent but if he does he certainly has the forearms for the role. No word yet on his thighs, but I’ll keep you posted.
So has the conductor really surpassed Nigel? Passed Putin?!? Maybe Dan could be dubbed…or play a forearm double. And thank you for the appendage compliment 🙂
Actually, I forgot about Putin – no one surpasses Putin, obviously! That way, I get Nigel as well. So actually the conductor is only second on the list (Putin and Nigel count as one). How about Dan is the forearm double and you could step in as the thighs? We should have as many different people playing Hugh as possible.
I think Hugh would work as being portrayed as an archetype; take all your favourite bits and put them together; though be careful, we all know what happened when Frankenstein tried that!
Hmm, it could be quite interesting – Dan’s forearms, your thighs, Putin’s temperament and Nigel’s… face? What a beautiful beast he will be!
I think Putin could fill a pair of jogging shorts rather well, Nigel’s exuberance? Although his face does have the most tremendous range…either way the audience won’t forget him!
I know get get the image of Nigel as Hugh out of my head! I’ve only just managed to shift the other images of Nigel as well. Pah. It seems I am destined to be a Nigel obsessive, no matter how many operas I go to.
“One invariably meets ones destiny on the very road one takes to avoid it”…all roads lead to Nigel.
All roads lead to Nigel *nods sagely* Somehow these words resonate deeply within me.
Soon you will come to see the oneness; Nigel and bacon smuggling are but two sides of the triangle of truth.
The third side is… Putin!
I don’t see how it could be anything else!!!
My life is now complete.
Excellent; now you need only inform Nigel and Putin of their roles and you begin making fopdoodle!
Ah, little Fopdoodle! How I long for the day when he rides great beasts bare chested with his father through the Kremlin…
You know, I’m beginning to think that my unrealistic expectations of a relationship are the reasons why I’m single.
Single for now…I know at least one person who ‘d gladly don a Putin mask and perform feats of beast taming derring-do for you! and he refuses to believe he’s unique; it’s only a matter of time.
You could bring a tear to a glass eye with your kind words of support, my dear fellow. When romantic endeavours are limited to the President of Russia, the politically insane and a conductor, you bring hope into my world 😀
I try; but long live the niche love interests!
I’m aiming for Professor Fox. After all, he’s an American. But Lucy can attest to my abilities with accents from my recent trip. She got to experience my abilities with the British tongue first hand.
Good point, Dan would make a brilliant Professor Fox! I can’t believe I didn’t see it before…
Missed this comment…ooo you dirty dog!
Isn’t he just…
Me? A dirty dog? And just – just what, exactly???
I don’t get this forearm thing – mine are nothing special, I don’t think – but as a runner, I have great legs: big calfs, big thighs.
I’ve been complimented on my legs, never my forearms (until Lucy did).
I didn’t get to investigate your thighs, sadly. Perhaps next time? I am a forearm connoisseur and I can assure you that they are super.
Investigate?
Hmm…