The chapter from which this excerpt originates is titled ‘Humphrey To The Rescue’, sometimes known as Medieval Rumpy-Pumpy. This isn’t the whole chapter, as I know you are really only interested in the filthy bits. You naughty, naughty readers, you.
PorterGirl – The Vanishing Lord
Humphrey To The Rescue
Wearing a disguise hastily thrown together from the contents of the College lost property box, Deputy Head Porter and sidekick Hugh from the Unlikely Law Association are searching the rival Hawkins College for a suspicious character. Unfortunately, during their endeavours they are mistaken for visiting lecturers and Deputy Head Porter finds herself in the unenviable position of having to give a lecture in medieval French…
Lucy Brazier 
Tink loves the bedtime stories – but I swear he is most impressed by Duck Duck, as he holds Big Duck or Little Duck in his mouth (the largest about half the size of Duck Duck) as we watch and listen together — as I covet the jammies.
In French, huh, FictionFan? I wonder how many of her readers would know WHAT she was reading if she did it in French – backwards or frontwards. I certainly couldn’t call her out on it.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
I LOVE the thought of Tink watching whilst holding his own duck! Duck-Duck will be very pleased to hear that. In fact, Duck-Duck is the real star of the show 🙂
My French is nowhere near good enough, unfortunately – I can just about ask for directions to the swimming pool and that’s about it!!
xx
Yes, congratulations for the straight face regarding lady bacon, and I reckon the outtakes video would be worth a gander too! The publishers haven’t raised an eyebrow at your turn of phrase have they?
There was more outtake footage than actual footage, but as it mainly involved me saying ‘B*ll*cks’ and ‘F**k it’ I didn’t keep it.
The publishers are surprisingly chuffed with the new book in general and see this particular episode as a highlight! Who woulda thunk it?
The mistakes worked for the bottom live shows! And I’m not surprised they liked it at all, and one can get away with medieval filth because it’s from them olden times and doesn’t count as pornography proper.
We can hardly compare my humble literary offerings to the mighty genius of Bottom Live, quite possibly the finest performances ever to grace a stage anywhere in the world, ever. Oh, Rik – the world is not the same now the people’s poet is dead!
Old time filth is practically educational. I felt very informed having read Humphrey’s diary (even though I wrote it.)