Hello there, chaps and chapesses. Just a brief missive to let you know that I will be noticeably absent from proceedings next week but, fear not, my desertion will be brief. Even as we speak, I am wending my merry way to deepest, darkest Derbyshire to retreat to a small stone cottage in the hills.
Whilst the main purpose of this is to focus my uninterrupted attentions on the new PorterGirl novel, Sinister Dexter, I also intend to use the time to get in some eating practice, ready for Christmas.
Not only that, but there is swotting up to be done in preparation for the Westminster Pub Quiz, where I will be pitting my wits against quiz master extraordinaire, ultra-posh Tory backbencher Jacob Rees-Mogg.
The only slight hiccup with this, is that I have also agreed to attend a lunch on the South Bank that afternoon, followed by an ill-advised pub crawl around London. By the time I get to Westminster I’ll be lucky if I can even write my own name, let alone lock intellectual horns with an old Etoninan. No matter. If I manage to end the evening without having removed my clothes or been charged with a public order offence, I shall consider the thing a success.
In the week leading up to Christmas I hope to share with you some of the new book and, if I can avoid police custody, snippets of my adventures in the capital. In the meantime, try to behave yourselves while I’m gone…