Assault On Hawkins College

Secret Diary Of PorterGirl

It never ceases to amaze me how life places me in such unlikely scenarios. As we speak, I am pretending to be a heavily intoxicated eighteen year old student who has arrived at Hawkins College for her first year studying – what was it? Art history, I think. An easy one, anyway. As a Deputy Head Porter now firmly in her mid-thirties, dressed in a skimpy air hostess outfit, this is something of a challenge.

My comrade in this unlikely operation is The Dean of College, a man I have not been having an affair with for some time, masquerading as Zorro. To be fair, I should not be so surprised. My existence since joining Old College has been surreal, to say the least. This is just one other thing, in a whole great list of things, that I thought would never happen. And the fate of the Lord Layton…

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