Some witty rogue once remarked that there are only two people you should ever lie to – your girlfriend and the Police. While this particular citation might rouse admiring chortles at the bar, I am not convinced of the wisdom of it myself. I have, in my time, been both a girlfriend and the Police and I didn’t appreciate being lied to in either capacity. I cannot help thinking that on this occasion The Dean could be making a mistake.
But it would appear that there are weightier matters at hand. While my bowler-hatted colleagues are tracking down the Bursar candidates, I am entrusted with the crucial commission of furnishing The Dean’s rooms with a fine selection of single malts. Considering current events, this may seem like a rather inconsequential trifle. But then, things at Old College are rarely as they seem.
Happily, there is a man who can assist…
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