About Last Night

The morning after the night before…

Secret Diary Of PorterGirl

 Thump. Thump. Thump!

Thump. Thump. Thump!

Oh, good lord what is that terrible noise?!

Thump. Thump. Thump!

I realise with growing nausea that the awful thumping is coming from deep within my skull. Groaning softly, I force my eyes open. Even this small manoeuvre is accompanied by the most hideous creaking and scratching as the lids grate across arid eyeballs.

I am face down on a battered and elderly red leather sofa. The Dean’s red leather sofa. Oh. No.

As a vague sense of panic forces my protesting frame into a sitting position, a mortarboard slips from my head and tumbles onto the carpet. The Dean’s mortarboard, no less. My. God.

I hurriedly check that I am fully clothed. I am. All that is missing is my College tie. Okay. Things are not that bad. I glance over to see The Dean slumped in his armchair, a wistful smile upon…

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