Back To Work!

Secret Diary Of PorterGirl – The Un:Fairer Sex will return on Tuesday 12th January 2016!

Delightful news, I am sure you will agree – but in the meantime I need to make some progress with the bloody book. Plots and sub-plots are hanging together nicely and I’ve got character progression spilling out all over the place.

But there is a problem.

The publisher wants a love interest for Deputy Head Porter. (They also want a name for Deputy Head Porter, but that isn’t going to happen.)

It doesn’t have to be a grand romance and we won’t be straying into 50 Shades Of Old College territory (probably) but seeds of desire needs must be sown in this book with the intention that they flourish and bloom over the next two books.


As you can probably tell, I am not keen but these people know far better than me about such things and I am confident I can write it without turning the whole thing into a vile mush-fest.

But the question is who to fit the dubious honour of this role? Certainly not Head Porter – that relationship is already established and evolving it into a romance would destroy the dynamic.

The Dean would work as an unrequited love – as a member of The Fellowship he could never entertain relations with a College servant. But they have already had one fake affair, so maybe that would be pushing it.

Perhaps a new character is needed. They suggested a love-struck student, but that might be a bit creepy as even the Third Years are typically only 21 years old. A dashing lecturer was also punted as a potential suitor, which is perhaps a little more realistic.

Anyhoo, it has me completely stumped. Any suggestions, ideas and help would be very gratefully received and if I use your idea I will of course credit you in the novel!

In the meantime, I shall devise ways for my characters to die horribly. That I can manage without too much difficulty.


  1. It’s much to late to ring in on Book One – but perhaps in books to come: what about one of the ghosts (that don’t exist at Old College, of course). It would certainly be an unrequited secret love affair for her to develop feelings for a charming soul who has the mysterious habit of disappearing whenever anyone else is around to overhear their conversations. He could also get her out of a scrape or two – which would only cause her to be fonder of this mysterious gentlemen.

    1. That’s an incredible idea!! Do you mind if I explore that for Book 2? In fiction unrequited love is the best kind. It’s just brilliant, thank you!

    2. Ah, the publisher, yes. Actually they do give me quite a free reign. I am very lucky that they don’t try to temper the quirkiness of PG. This will be fun 🙂 xx

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